They prey upon our children like wild wolves in the night. They prey on our children’s innocence and trust. They prey on our children, not always as strangers but, as fathers, uncles, men of the cloth, teachers and friends of the family. People whom we trust; adults whom our children are taught to trust and obey; adults who take advantage of that trust. One out of every four girls is sexually abused before puberty. One out of every three girls is sexually abused by age eighteen. One out of every eight boys under eighteen is sexually abused in this country alone.
Pedophiles, child molesters, who are they? Where do they come from? What makes them stalk our innocent children? What makes them molest their own children? What makes them scar a precious little life? What is it about babies, children, the little people, that sends a pedophile into a sexual frenzy, committing the worse sin imaginable towards a child?
Some believe that pedophiles were abused as children and therefore turn around and re-enact that pain on another innocent child – why? If anyone can understand the hurt and pain that is inflicted on a child, it should very well be the pedophile who claims that he, himself, was sexually abused as a child. Why scar another life and another and another (pedophiles usually molest many children before they are caught) as they were scarred. Pedophiles, child molesters and abusers of children, should stand up, recognize that what happened to them was wrong, realize that it wasn’t their fault, get help through counseling and become healers to our children, advocates for children rights, mentors to kids who find it too hard to tell, and nurturing parents to their own children – educating should be the repercussion of a child molester abused as a child instead of an abused child evolving as a child abuser, himself. But, all child molesters were not sexually abused as children and all adults who were sexually abused as children are not child molesters – what’s going on here?
Adults make decisions in their lives. That’s one advantage of being an adult in our society. The majority of adult decision makers have morals and beliefs that they strongly adhere to. Sometimes we do things that we wouldn’t normally do in order to survive, to eat and provide for our families, to make a better life for ourselves and our loved ones. We accept the responsibility for our actions. The pedophile makes a decision to rape a child, to shatter their childhood, to inflict pain not imagined by an innocent human being, to force an unwanted and unknown act on a little person. The pedophile makes a decision not out of survival, not out of the need to provide for his family and definitely not for the well being of his victim – the pedophile makes a decision out of selfishness – who else could he possibly be thinking of when he performs such a cruel and horrendous act. He makes a decision, not a mistake. These wolves in sheep’s clothing tend to blame others for what they do – their spouse, jobs, society as a whole and even their innocent victims. It is estimated that 90% of child sexual abuse involves a person whom the child knows well. It is also estimated that 25% of Americans have been victims of child sexual abuse. In incestuous child abuse cases the most common is father – daughter or stepfather – daughter, where, in the eyes of the pedophile, the daughter takes the place of the mother. Usually, in this incestuous situation the mother either knows or has a strong indication that something is wrong. The child inherits a sort of power that is silently acknowledged in the family’s household by both parents – the child in this situation is referred to as an “EXECUTIVE CHILD.”
We hear about children being molested all over the world, everyday on the news, in the paper, at work, school and even at church. Priests, doctors, fathers, entertainers – all walks of life molesting their own children or someone else’s. There is evidence that women pedophiles exist; but the male clearly dominates this unbelievable practice. To make access of children available to them, these men tend to enter into professions that involve direct contact with children, interacting directly with them, gaining their trust and eventually molesting them.
Whom do our children turn to in a world that insists that children should be seen and not heard. These children are confused, scared and lonely. They want to tell, but who will believe them? (Children rarely lie about such things as sexual abuse.) The child reasons with herself that it would be better not to tell than to have family members doubt them, and some family members do tend to doubt the child, some dismiss it altogether and think the problem will just go away – it will not just go away. People who dismiss this awful problem are just as bad, maybe worse, than the pedophile who stalks our children. They have the power, the law to stand up against these individuals yet a large portion of them do nothing but close their eyes. We must listen to our children when they are trying to tell us something, we must make them feel comfortable when it is too hard to tell. (Telling someone is the first step to recovery.) We must encourage our youth to be honest and tell the truth no matter how much it hurts. We must notice different behavior patterns in our children: nervousness, restlessness, withdrawing from people who really love them. Parents, listen to your children. They may be trying to tell you something.
By: B. Knox